Want to Make a Friend?

In high school and middle school it’s easy to hate that mean girl or the bully boy but Jesus said love your enemy in Mathew 5: 43-48. Jesus implies you can receive blessing by loving your enemies because they can be your friends if you just treat them that way. When you love your enemies not only will your stress, the drama of hating them go to God, you’ll also witness love to them and they may learn to love you in return as a true friend, who defends, supports, and protects you.

I’ve seen it! Here's a fun little video that shows how it works. Then I'll continue with some of my real life examples of how I've seen it work around me.

Two of my friends in high school hated each other with a passion. They did horrible things to each other; spread rumors, tattle on each other, and said nasty things to each other. BUT when they stopped, and it was a sudden halt they both agreed on one night backstage during a play all three of us were in, when they made the choice to be nice to each other during that play they became the best of friends, inseparable.

A good friend of mine in high school loved everyone. She had God in her heart and Christ as her savior, never said a bad word about a soul, was the happiest person I know, and never seemed to have a bad day. Everyone was her friend and would attest to that if asked.

It’s not an easy thing to do, love your enemies. I have trouble a great deal of the time. I’ve challenged myself to do it and I’ve made some progress. I now challenge all of you to do it. You can start slow, wish something good for them, say a prayer to bring them something even you would consider good, and when the opportunity comes your way do something nice, such as if they’re standing in back of you in the cafeteria line, offer them to go in front of you. Then you can work your way up to saying something nice to them for no reason, inviting them to Jamba juice or your birthday party.

Remember often those who are the most difficult to love are in the most need of it AND a drop of water in a dry mouth will mean so much more than a cup full in a content mouth. You can seriously change someone’s life by doing this and will open the door for God to bring a change inside them.

New Year’s Resolutions, Did they stick? Why Not?

It’s October and as the year’s coming to a close I’m thinking about my New Year’s resolutions. There were two. Did I accomplish what I set out to do? Did that bring me the results I wanted? For each resolution there’s a different answer.

1.       Go to the gym to get in shape

My couch potato, always in front of the computer or TV self needed to get some good old endorphins so I joined a gym hoping the expense of 20+ dollars a month would motivate me—don’t let it be in vain. I started by getting a trainer, who taught me how to do many things and allowed me to get comfortable in the space. She was my ambassador to the world of gym. Then I had to push myself to go. I found I needed to push myself at my own pace and give myself my own reasons to be there. I like reading in front of the treadmill or rather editing. I find it allows me to be clear and focused.

There were a couple months I was lax, I got sick, time got away from me, I didn’t seem to want to go but I just came from the gym about an hour ago. I’m proud of that especially since last night I read an article that said the gym is teaming with germs—I’ve never gotten sick. Aren’t there germs everywhere? I am taking extra precautions to eradicate the germs on my gym bag and the Bible I take but for the most part I think my gym keeps things pretty clean. Of course washing hands is always important.

Now did I get in shape? I don’t know. I do feel my caves getting firmer, and my midsections kind of burns right now from the crunches. But am I in shape. I hope there isn’t an apocalyptic event anytime soon! I don’t think I’d be able to walk across Los Angeles with a rubber band and a black plastic bag to gather water in. But I’ve found even a 30minute work out on the treadmill makes me happier. Who cares about being in shape as long as we’re happy and not too unhealthy?

2.       Clean my room for at least 20 minutes a day every day.

When I made this resolution my bedroom, which serves as my family room and my office, was overflowing with papers; all the writing stuff I hadn’t had time to file in those two empty file drawers.

The twenty minutes a day was really pretty easy to manage, after the twenty minutes was done. I did spend a lot of the time grumbling, while I did it. Often I forgot and I’d try to do it right before bed, sometimes I’d just say “never mind” I’ll do 40 minutes tomorrow and then never do that. It wasn’t working.

What I ended up doing is while my parents were away I took all my file folders downstairs with the new box of new file folders and as I watched a marathon of “How I Met Your Mother” (after which I kept saying “Suit Up” to the kids I babysit) I filed everything in two days. My room was clean. I didn’t need to do the 20 minutes of clean up every day anymore…so I thought. My room is a mess again, which is what got me to thinking about my New Year’s resolutions. I think I have two main problems; I don’t put things away when I get them out and I don’t really have a place to put everything. In order to put something away there’s got to be a place to put it. I only moved into my new house two years ago. I should get on that and defiantly for a writer I need to make it easier to make new files.

So, it didn’t all work or the way I wanted it to. But we’re all a work in progress. Why didn’t it work is so much more important a question than did it work. Don’t you think?

5 Things I don’t understand about the Female Gender (my gender)

Why are Diamonds a girl’s best friend?

My friends usually breathe and talk to me. I’m not saying the diamond shouldn’t be in an engagement ring, though it doesn’t have to be a diamond, what I am saying is when a guy buys me jewelry it says one of three things, “he did something bad,” “he had no idea what to get,” and or “I can now feed a small tribe in Africa.” For me diamonds/jewelry is cold (unless it has some other significance like it was a family air loom or it’s religious jewelry). It’s also an unnecessary expense, that money could be used for a better purpose than to adorn oneself when one could adorn oneself with something fake that’s just as pretty, and who knows if the gift is her style.

Why do we love scented soaps and lotions?

I react badly to perfume, even Febreze sprayed heavily gives me problems, so this could just be my thing. I usually don’t react badly to scented soaps or lotions but I still don’t understand; why does it have to be scented? Fruit scents and vanilla aren’t so bad but some scents can be intense and there’s no way to get rid of it once you’ve soothed that dry skin or done the healthy thing and washed your hands.

Why do we need throw pillows?

Yes, they make things pretty but for me right now all I can think is “They have no function and cost money”. They are not cheap. I have a pillow on my bed for sleeping and that’s enough. The throw pills, on the bed just get in the way. HOWEVER throw pillows on the couch, on more than one occasion I’ve used them to take a nap so one or two isn’t so bad (I’d put them on a registry). When someone gets into double or triple digest, unless they have 5 or more couches in their house, I think someone needs an intervention. (I’m totally putting that in my sitcom)

Why all that makeup every day?

Now I enjoy putting on a little cover up, lip stick, and foundation (when I have the time) but some women glob it on then look like hookers. They worship makeup as they sit in front of the altar of their mirror every morning for over an hour craning their necks to glimpse that sacred figure. Not only did God make us beautiful just as we are but also society’s views on beauty change over time. In centuries past being large and pale used to be beautiful and they went to dangerous lengths to ensure it. Sound familiar? Only now it’s skinny and tan. On more than one occasion an old photo or home video shows family of mine all dolled up and by today’s standards looking ridiculous. They even admit that. This is why I do what makes me feel beautiful, my hair is always straight and only styled for special occasions, and I don’t feel the need to put on makeup every day. And I shudder at what all that glop is doing to their skin.

Why do we like flowers from our boyfriends/husbands?

Of course they brighten your day as a birthday gift or get well flowers from a friend. A romantic gift it's not, flowers die, attract bugs, and are messy to clean up after. And roses have prickly thorns. I have the added challenge of allergies so certain flowers give me headaches. I probably shouldn’t put my face in them… but it’s a reflex.