TV; Why do we watch the TV shows we do?

                Why do we watch the shows we do? Is it the characters? We just have to see how they’ll get out of this. Does the plot excite us? What will happen next? Or does the drama pull you in? I can’t believe that happened, wow this is amazing!

My latest television show obsession is “Robin Hood”, a British show I found on Netflix about you guessed it Robin Hood. The show isn’t really anything special, the historical accuracy is nil, the world is obviously fake. Yet I’m addicted. Why?

Maybe it’s the unique group of characters. Robin Hood, has lost his bloodlust after fighting for the King in the crusades. He comes home to find the Sheriff he loved has been replaced by an evil one, who overtaxes, letting people starve, and worse. But we meet Robin before he knows this. He’s traveling back from the Holly Land with his servant Much, a fighter who talks too much. (Think donkey in Shrek). Robin knows not to kiss a young lady while her father stands outside the house but she tempts him and sure enough Robin has to make a clever escape as the father chases him out. Robin uses a Saracen bow and has come to appreciate Muslims, even has one, a young woman as a member of his “outlaws”. Djaq, the Saracen woman, took on her twin brother’s name. Her father a doctor, she knows about eastern medicine and has a strong wit and fight to match. Will, the carpenter takes orders well, while he also improvises with his knowledge of craftsmanship getting them out of messes or through an obstacle. Little Jon, the giant, has a heart as big as himself. He fights for home because it’s the home he loves. Much is with them too, cooking most of the time in the forest as if he’s Robin’s wife. Finally Allan, the fool who spins a good lie, he knows the ins and outs of being an outlaw, how to get in and out without getting caught. Yet can he really be trusted?

Like the traditional story Robin and his men steel from the rich and give to the poor. But their mission is also to get word to the King in the Holly land of the Sheriff’s cruelty and later, his treason. They encounter and stop other cruel plots along the way, getting caught sometimes, escaping often and losing some. Lady Marion is also part of the story. Strong willed, she fights against the injustice in her own way (think secret identity). Robin is head over heels for her but he has to stay strong especially since Marion considers her love lost since he left for the holy land, breaking off their engagement, and she’s antagonistic towards him for disregarding the rules. She helps them anyway with insider information from Guy Gibson, the right hand man to the Sheriff who cares for Marion in his ill conceived way caring more for power than what she actually wants.

I think it’s the good against evil battle I love. The idea that good can prevail, the idea of friendship so strong you’d go through hell for each other. To have a fight for good, a purpose in life is invigorating. And we’re let in on all this through Robin’s gang, friends as tight as any. We even love the Sheriff who’s constantly killing people we wonder why there’s anyone left or anyone willing to work for him. The writing is clever always making me laugh out loud in each episode.

(Spoiler; don’t watch the last 12minutest of episode 26, “We are Robin Hood” it ruined the series for me. I’m still scratching my head as to why the writers did THAT. But the first two seasons are GREAT! The third still has great writing but a missing element.)

On Writing; How to take Critique Gracefully

Letting people critique your work is an essential part of writing but hearing criticism can be heart wrenching. Having just recently heard a few extensive critiques on my novel, one by a family member the others by friends, I thought I’d pass on some advice.

BEFORE YOU GIVE THEM YOUR WORK

1.       Do as much as you can to come up with and answer your own questions. I drove myself crazy doing this so there is such a thing as overdoing it.

2.       Writing questions within the piece, while it can be tacky for an official editor, I did this for my own notes and would give these drafts to people and they would answer them.

3.       Make sure the person you are handing your work to knows you expect feedback and what kind. It’s going to be easy for them to just read it and say they liked it or didn’t. I still haven’t figured out how to get people to actually give a critique even after I made it clear, though they may not have any official expertise, they can help me (and my lame spelling and grammar).

4.       I still haven’t mastered the art of giving a timeline for the critique. I had a schedule for one, every two weeks I’d heard about a few chapters. One I got after two weeks that covered the whole book, and one I’m still waiting on after months, which brings me to…

WHILE YOU’RE WAITING KEEP WORKING ON YOUR PIECE. DON’T LET THE FACT A FRIEND IS READING IT SLOW YOU DOWN, this is specifically for among the drafts edits. A final edit you can’t keep working.

 BEFORE YOU MEET FOR THE CRITIQUE

1.       Prepare yourself for some hard to hear stuff. You’ll get hit with a lot of balls in the gut but like dodge ball you have to find a way to avoid getting hurt.

2.       Prepare some open ended questions designed to flush out problems. Examples;

a.       What about the character made you feel he wasn’t developed enough?

b.      Can you point to some examples of when the setting wasn’t clearly stated?

3.       Remind yourself this person is human just like everyone else, they are not all knowing and always right but only you know how you want your story to be.

4.       You should have already written down intentions for your plot, character, etc. You’ll need to keep these in mind and hold firm to them during the meeting.

5.       Remind yourself that your draft isn’t bad it’s good but you want to make it better.

WHEN YOU MEET

1.       Ask for what they liked about the piece first but after a few minutes you have to ask what they thought could have been better. Listen/take notes. Acknowledge what they are saying even if you don’t agree with it. But try and look at your story as if what they are saying is true so you don’t get in an uncompromising rut. DON’T DWELL ON THE REWRITE, it’s going to be different than you think you haven’t had time to think it through or finish the critique.

2.       Don’t get emotional, happy or upset, especially defensive. The person giving the critique is giving advice to their best ability. They are fallible and there’s no reason you have to agree or use it, if you feel it doesn’t suit your story.

3.       Ask open ended questions, especially if you feel the person has come to a fallacious assumption. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked questions and either the one critiquing the piece took it back or I found the comment was different than what I thought. It also helps you better understand the problem, opening up your options, if there is something you have to change.

4.       Pay attention to body language. It’s best to meet in person. This was a lifesaver for me. One of the people who reviewed my piece was tearing it to shreds but was doing it with such passion that I knew he cared about the piece. He was excited. I’d hooked him in my plot even though he felt the writing and characters needed lots of work. I consider that a successful draft.

5.       Keep in mind a lot of the advice you’re getting is personal opinion, choices, and biased. Everyone sees through their own rose colored glasses and advice from one person could be the exact opposite of another. Make sure you stick to your clear intentions.

6.       At the end tell them what helped you and thank them.

AFTER

1.       Celebrate! You’ve gotten through the hardest part of writing. No matter how it went you’re on your way. You know what they say, "a bad dress rehearsal means a good performance."

2.       Save your draft under a new name. I like to attach the date to all my drafts.

3.       Go through each suggestion and consider them carefully, trying them a few times, before you discard them.

4.       Discard whatever you want to.

5.       Remind yourself the person you worked with was doing you a favor, don’t let that get in the way of any relationship. Go ahead and think they’re stupid when it comes to your piece but that doesn’t mean they’re a stupid person. She’s probably a lot of fun once you get a few martinis in her.

I hope this helps people. When you do these things it feels less of a violation than getting fraudulent charges on your bank card, which happened to me today. Ahh!

Tots; How to make taking kids to the Park less of an ordeal

Going to the park with kids is a bit of an ordeal. In my work as a babysitter I’ve made many trips to the park with different kids and I've discovered there are a few things that can make it easier;

AT HOME

Put the sun block on. It can be next to imposable to get kids to stand still when there’s a giant play set calling them.

Make sure the rules are clear and if you’re willing to enforce consequences make those clear as well. It’s not a bad idea to tell them, “If you can’t follow these rules then we don’t have to go to the park, that’s okay.” Odds are they’ll want to go so they’re agree to follow the rules but by giving them the option of not going you won’t become the bad guy. They are in control. There are all kinds of “if thens” in life; “if you don’t do your homework you won’t do well in school.” “If you don’t go to work you won’t get paid.” The sooner they learn this, the better and the easier it will be for them to accept rules without resenting the world or villainizing those who enforce the rules, which is YOU.

WHAT TO BRING IN THE ONE PARK BAG

Wet naps to clean hands, face, and any scrapes

A small first aid kit. Kids get scrapes it’s part of the definition of being a kid. A small first aid kit containing wet naps (pat don’t rub), antibacterial ointment (you can find a really small tube that has numbing agent in it too) and those band-Aids with the child's favorite cartoon character on them works great to stop the flow of tears.

Sun block, if you stay at the park more than two hours you’ll need to reapply. That’s a good time to give them the cookies or fruit snacks you hid in the recesses of the park bag.

Food, especially if it’s around lunch time or snack time. Cut the food into more pieces that you would normally, especially with little kids because once a piece falls on the ground it goes in the trash and there’s nothing more heartbreaking than a child whining that they’re hungry.

Leave stuffed animals and blankies at home. Sand clings to fussy things and it’s impossible to get rid of.

Sweaters; no matter how hot it is you never know when the weather will turn or a child will want it just because.

Change of clothes; this is really only for children who are in the process of potty training, when they’re having so much fun it’s hard to remember that, unlike last year when they were wearing a diaper, they have to stop and walk to the potty.

Bathing suit if it’s going to be wet or hot enough

I don’t recommend bringing sand toys. It’s a lot to worry about and parks have play sets, but it’s up to you. With older kids, bringing toys, with the understanding they are responsible for them, could teach them responsibility. It’s not a horrible idea. Just, for a child to understand consequence, you should be prepared to leave a left toy and endure the tears. If I found the time, I would go back, but not let the child know until after they understand the lesson. You won't be an unfeeling person but you'll never have to tell your child twice again to gather their things.

AT THE PARK

Before exiting the car, be sure to make it clear the child/children should hold your hand or someone's hand in the parking lot.

Tell the child where you'll sit and watch them. They won't care until they do and when that time comes, if they can't find you there will be tears.

If you’re going to be eating at the park keeping children’s hands clean when the table is dirty can be impossible. What I recommend, but this is up to you, when they first sit to eat use a wet nap to wipe their hands and with the same wet nap wipe down the area of the table they will be eating at. It won’t be perfectly clean but don’t worry about their little hands touching the table it will happen but their immune systems can handle it. And if you wipe their hands whenever they touch the table, you’ll be wiping their hands every two seconds to keep them clean. Don’t let them eat foot that touches the table or falls on the ground. Notifying them of this before they start eating will make the struggle less difficult.

When a child plays they’re likely to get bumps and bruises. As long as the playset is age apropriate don’t hold their hand the whole time or they'll never learn. When they fall or get hurt don't freak out, let it be, and they’re more likely to let it go.

When it's about time to leave, give the children a countdown. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes", "ten minutes", "five minutes", "one minute". It allows the child to finish up their game and or gives a child a heads up making it less of a shock when that time comes around, which, in my experience,results in less resistance (most of the time).

This isn't an exhaustive list,won't necessarily make the day at the park free of drama but I think it will help lessen the drama. Let me know if you have any thoughts on this or other ideas.

On Writing: Study of the short story not going well?

                Today, after my 100^th attempt to write a short story resulted in a ten page outline—solid text left to right—I decided to read some short stories from the anthologies I was forced to buy during college. These were anthologies I mostly found incredibly dull and this is coming from a girl who enjoyed multiplying matrices.

                However, there was one anthology I found interesting the “You’ve got to read this” Book featuring contemporary American Writers Introductions before the stories “that Held Them in Awe”. It’s Edited by Ron Hansen and Jim Sheppard published in 2000 by Harper Perennial. It has authors, most people, familiar even just a bit with literature, know, names like Charles Dickens, James Joyce, and Flannery O’Connor.

I started reading the first story in the anthology that I believed I hadn’t read in college (I was wrong about that, apparently it wasn’t memorable the first time either). It’s titled, “Guy de Maupassant” by Isaac Babel. I found it lacked intrigue or purpose. Within the first two pages I wanted to stop, feeling that, since it was only six pages long I must have some idea behind why I should care about the rest of it. I couldn’t care. But I kept on hoping there was a point. There was artful description of situation and character—short but sweat—yet still I wondered why I should care.

I read the introduction afterwards because long ago I realized introductions interfere with ones perception of a piece and don’t make sense or rather make more sense when one has read the piece. Still the story held no importance or amusement for me other than the entertainment of scratching my head as to why it was important. I know I must have missed something. I’m quite certain Francine Prose, who wrote the introduction never anticipated she’d have to convince the reader that Babel through his story allowed the reader to experience, “something beyond the cerebral something visceral, inexpressible, that shivery mix of pure presence of mystery that both art and sex can provide.”

“Don’t get it.” That’s what I wrote at the end of the introduction. Perhaps, just perhaps, my inability to understand has to do with my lack of experience with the later mystery, which made me confused as to whether Babel was referring to actual sex at times or just the metaphorical. It all just made me a bit uncomfortable—being analytical yet not able to analyze, as well as the other.

There’s one thing I’m fairly certain of now; going through the story in my head has made the story’s purpose come into a fuzzy clarity. The story is a farce; a young man is being paid by a busty female to translate stories, in which sex is being romanticized, which leads the young man to lust for sex. The female refuses him. Later the young male researches the author of the stories and learns he died of syphilis. (Why couldn’t the author just write that. Talk about overusing words.)

Think about a story more than a moment to find its meaning. It might not be the meaning the author or person who wrote the introduction intended but what you get out of the story is your prerogative.

“Ringer”, Canceled? Or was it all a bad dream? “Ringer” Season Two!

In recent news February 30th 2015, the CW Network, a joint venture between CBS and Warner Bros has declared its intention to dissolve it’s partnership due to what they will only refer to as, “lack of financial assurance”, in other words—Bankruptcy.   Hollywood economists have calculated that the inciting incident leading to their fall was the cancelation of the show “Ringer”, in 2012. If you’re one of the few who aren’t familiar with “Ringer” here’s a brief description; it’s about twin sisters one a former drug addict and prostitute takes the identity of her high class identical twin sister becoming a wife, stepmother, and target to many of her sister’s enemies.  The show was cut short prematurely due to the Network’s inability to effectively market to an audience not familiar or too familiar with their CW logo. The network’s faithful viewers are adolescence. While teens have the time and watch the most amount of TV, outgrowing the network is inevitable and those who look back on the time think of it as adolescent folly. (Yes, it was last week, but still)

We asked if the CW had considered bringing back “Ringer”, what ten million people, five times the original fan base have been talking about on Utube for the past three years. They commented “they had no intension of bringing back a show they scrapped.” but we recently heard from a yet to be disclosed network who purchased the show from them in 2014 during the CW’s attempt to recover the monumental losses of 2013. The undisclosed network is airing the second season of “Ringer” next fall for the 2015-2016 season, since all the original cast members are conveniently free.

Sarah Michelle Gellar, who played both the twins, is ready to come out of maternity leave for more than occasional guest star appearances.  Kristoffer Polaha’s recent role of Peter in the unexpected indie blockbuster “Fishermen”, the modern day retelling of the story of Jesus, has catapulted his stardom and made him pray for a simple role to remain visible and working, while he keeps things normal for his family. The sudden cancelation of the latest Syfy Vampire series, “Black Soul”, after the tragic death of his human co-star, (don’t drink and drive), has left Nestor Carbonell free. He really doesn’t age. Ioan Gruffudd also experienced a tragic death—on screen that is. His character, Charles Wilson on the PBS series “Downtown Abbey” was gun down this season so he’ll be joining the rest of the cast in the fall.

A new staff writer of the resurrected “Ringer”, Julia Wells said, “this time around we won’t do a soft marketing approach, leaving the audience in the dark. The second season has the feisty good twin Bridget, as a condition of not going to jail for a kidnapping she had nothing to do with, working with the FBI while she nurses her broken heart. Meanwhile, Siobhan the vindictive twin continues to lie and scheme in order to destroy Andrew, her husband, who she returns to under the guise of being Bridget, who he fell madly in love with during season I.  Andrew believing his wife committed suicide is willing to pretend for the world that the woman he believes is Bridget is Siobhan.  Will he noticed in his sleep deprived state, as he helps Siobhan take care of twins Bridget, “took custody of after the death of a friend”, that he’s living with the wife who cheated on him and his own twins or will his affection soften Siobhan’s stone cold heart? Sarah Michelle Gellar in her role of Bridget will use her fighting skills she learned from Buffy and Zoey Deutch’s character the beautiful teenage Juliet will finally get a boyfriend. (Oh, every girls’ dream! We can experience it vicariously through her.) The premiere episode will catch you up, so even if you don’t have the time to see the first season airing this summer, watch the seasons two premiere of Ringer this fall.”

Ahh… such a happy ending. I really did write the first two episodes of Ringer Season Two and was bummed to learn it was canceled.  I think I’m still going through my stages of grief. To help me along, like parents tell their children when they have a bad dream, I imagined a happy ending. The good guys win and something was learned in all the hardship; the movie “Fisherman” sounds cool (it just came to me), success can be had after what some may call a failure (1.8million fans is not a failure by my standards), and people will remember Ringer.

Writing Frustration? How to have hope!

I am feeling very frustrated with my writing as of late. I've always had doubts about my writing but I've usually managed to work through them. Lately it's been a great mountain I can't seem to even step up to.

 

One knows that "anxiety should not paralyze it should force preparation and cautiousness." As it says in John 20: 19-30, "blessed are those who believe and have not seen." Miguel de Unamuno a famous biblical scholar said, "Faith without doubt is dead." (He also said, "A lot of good arguments are spoiled by someone who knows what he is talking about"--so don't take me too seriously) We all have to have faith whether it be in a religion or faith in our own abilities and potential.

 

My frustration comes from first, being so obsessed with another project that I've taken, what I hope will be a short hiatus from my novel, which I've been working on for years, and second not having access to someone who can get my work out there. Now I am writing a blog so my posts are out there but one of the things I'm pursuing right now is trying to write for TV, not just any TV but the stuff I like, which is hard to categorize. Like it says in the book, "From Good to Great" it's really about the group you work with that determines how rewarding and good the work is. At this point I'm writing a spec on a show I love, which I'd love to be produced but the business doesn't work that way.

In my frustrations I've come to a few realizations;

FIRST don't do things like laundry and sewing buttons onto the pants you never wear anyway, or post on your blog when you should be writing the episode.

SECOND, like my dad said, but I couldn't listen because I was so frustrated, "expect to get nothing out of something but hope for the best." And in the end I'm sure I will get something out of this project. Practice. And even if it's out of date I can always show it to people when I try to find an agent. I have a few other spec ideas, some pilots, in which I'll need to get an agent to get it to people. Now I need to make connections. Anyone volunteering?

 

THIRD, just do your best. That's the most you can do and more often than not it's enough to get you where you should be, which is not always where you want to be but the universe has a way of creating possibilities from almost successes and failures. AND THERE'S OFTEN NO REASON TO BELIEVE YOUR BEST WON'T LEAD TO SUCCESS, EVEN WHEN THE JUDGER INSIDE OF YOU THINKS OTHERWISE.

 

FOURTH, Don't get married to an idea! I was so focused on getting what I wanted thought I knew I wouldn't get it I felt tortured. Don't do that. I got out of it by having faith that things would work out.

I've never really had the problem of writers block so I can't really help you there. Try Googling it. I have the opposite problem. But a situation similar is my problem with my novel lately; my inability to convincingly write in the male pov. I've written a lot of pages. I'm not blocked I'm writing and each draft gets better, with the exception of a few that get worse, but it's beyond my comprehension what men think about. I did buy a book called the male brain and found it slanted towards men that have no personality but are controlled by their hormones, where my character has more depth than that.

 

FIFTH, stop judging so much. You're writing's probably better than you think.

 

When I wrote this a week ago I was in a really bad place. Since then things haven't really gotten better or worse but both in a way. My novel is in a comma right now (I have hope it will wake up. I saw brain activity today) but I completed my episode a total of 56 polished pages (4 drafts of it) in 10 days. I have reason to feel proud since it normally takes two weeks and I did it while working and researching the show. I also started a second episode and expect to be done in a week and I feel inspired to write more spec episodes Fairly Legal, Psych, Royal Pains, Scandal, and the pilot I'm really passionate about but really need to get more input on.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts. I hope I get out of my slump. If you're reading this for help, I hope you can get out of your slump too. Send me a comment I'd be happy to talk. Really, is there anyone out there?

Above was written months ago. Since then I completed the second episode of the spec I was working on, and it was within the seven days I aimed to (writing three drafts), while I was working. I'm proud. Unfortunately I did learn the show was canceled so I can't watch it anymore. I did get out of my slump, finished my novel (which still needs some editing input), and I've started my second novel.

Nothing Ventured, then you don't have to carry baggage

I came up with a saying the other day that piggybacks on "Nothing ventured nothing gained," it's, "nothing ventured, you don't have to carry baggage."
I think the phrase "nothing ventured nothing gained" gets used a little too freely. People give themselves the excuse to do stupid things, which they know aren't good for them. It's always good to keep in mind that the choices we make can have consequences, sometimes good, sometimes bad, very frequently both.

Always remember to make smart choices not whimsical ones. I think that’s what bugs me the most about the phrase, “nothing ventured nothing gained.” Yes, not venturing isn’t a good idea but there’s a middle ground one should abide by. Everyone should be prepared for the bagged that comes with venturing out. They will have to carry it

Have swear words become meaningless? My meter on swear words

I’ve been busy writing my fiction as of late. This week, rewriting the first page of my novel (“Misconception: Search for Love”) for literally the 100^th time. (1st draft it was rewritten for a month everyday a couple times each day and now I'm in draft seven) I find reading something over and over again makes the words lose their meaning. I feel like the definition of crazy; doing something over and over again expecting a different result.

That reminds me of something my sister told me when we were kids and in the state of frustration I am in it feels quite appropriate. She said, “Swear words are only for special occasions.” I’m not sure where she heard this but of course I repeated it to my Girl Scout troupe and the leader laughed.

I think it holds true that the more a swear words is said the more it losses it’s meaning. Of course, like I made so apparent above, I used swear words. I'm not proud of it and of course don't use them in front of kids. That’s a no no. But there are certain swear words that are of a different caliber than others.

Damn, often said as “Damn it” is tied with shit or crap as the lowest severity, yet you never use it on a person. I don’t think your computer would mind being sent to hell but your boss might. Yes, that’s what damn means; “go to hell” and that’s really mean. Remember swearing shouldn’t be about getting a rise out of someone, otherwise you’re really in trouble, it’s about venting frustration.

“Shit” or “crap”, used when late or the day is just going badly, it’s never used to describe a person—that’s just rude. Remember, it’s people’s behavior we don’t like not them we don’t like.

“Sucks”, as in “that sucks”, although it can be used in a conversation with young girlfriends to describe someone’s bad luck, it’s usually not appropriate to use at a nice dinner or around older people. I think teens use it more than young adults and I wonder/want to believe there’s a correlation with maturity and using the word.

“Fuck”, the worst of this short list of words, this is used to emotionally jar someone/make them understand you’re REALLY mad. Although, today it might not do so much for a lot of people I get emotional whiplash when people use it every other word and I also have no idea what they are saying.

Something, I think my parents used to say or perhaps I came up with it is; you need to be more creative with your language. I believe that. I’m sure the book “The terrible no good bad day” wouldn't have sold so many copies if it was titled, “The shitty day” and not only because it’s a children’s book (“hey where’s the poopy diapers”). So perhaps next time instead of saying "I’m having a shitty day" you could say "I’m having a no good terrible bad day" or to gloss it up, “my day challenged me in ways that made me want to scream.”

Easter isn't the same for all. What Easter is for me;

Easter Sunday, April 08, 2012

“He is risen, he is risen indeed,” it felt strange to hear it at church today. Perhaps it’s because when I was little, even thought we did go to church, I don’t remember hearing or saying it. But I think it’s more. I appreciate Jesus’ sacrifice for me, every day, not just Easter. On Easter I always spend time with family that is my focus. We eat till we're stuffed, get reacquainted since Christmas, and laugh—lots of laughing. I don’t think Jesus would mind that. I think he would appreciate it. We’re God’s children after all and just like a parent smiles as their child plays with his friends, never knowing how lucky they are God rejoices in our joy.

Happy Easter everyone! He has taken our shame. We are free to work in his glory without the hindrance!

Walking on Suds

                After graduating from college about six months went by before I unpacked the last bag from school. The bag had my after ski boots in it and a bottle of liquid detergent. During the summer and fall I hadn’t needed the boots. I hadn’t been near snow. And my parents provided detergent in the cupboard over the washing machine.

In the bag, the detergent had spilled everywhere, even though I’d double bagged it.

The boots had selflessly absorbed a great deal of the soap.

They were my Rite Aid boots. Up in the mountains where we go skiing every year I’d gone out shopping without the intention of buying boots. My mother and aunt were with me. After walking a ways through the slushy snow I found the boots I was wearing were filled with freezing water. I discovered my old boots, which were actually my mother’s boots from the year before, had a large rip in them.

“Why did you let me use them if they were ripped?” I yelled at my mother. She hadn’t known. I whined about the cold. At twenty years old I was far too big to be whining to my mother about being cold. I’m not proud I did it.

Taking pity on me my mother agreed to stop in a Rite Aid. As soon as I entered the boot aisle my boots and socks came off. Free from the cold water I skipped through the aisles in my bare feet. My feet were warming up and my mother agreed to buy me socks along with the inexpensive boots. The warmth of the new boots felt like I was curling up by a warm fire.  I had boots that were actually mine, the first boots that were mine since I’d always inherited from my sister or my mother, whose feet were about the same size but a little bigger than mine. My boots actually fit. I loved the boots.

But six months after college graduation the boots were soaked in sticky laundry detergent. I washed them in our large laundry room sink. The deep sink quickly filled with suds. I washed them again, and again. Did a couple loads of laundry with them without putting soap in. The clothes came out really clean. And I’d saved the boot, they were wearable but there was a large blue stain on the boot, which had laid in the detergent for six months. It didn’t matter. I was keeping them. And the next time I wore the boots it was snowing and some snow got in through the top. I was walking on suds, but I didn’t care.

I still have the boots. In the mountains again this year I wore them today.

Why does God allow the Evil of illness and death?

A couple weeks back I posted about why God lets bad things happen to good people ("Could God make a rock so big he couldn't move it?"). I spoke mostly of natural disasters. I thought about illness but wanted to save that for another time. This is that time.

I just happen to be reading the book, “The Immortal life of Henrietta Lacks” by Rebecca Skloot. It’s non-fiction, a story that really happened about Henrietta, a woman who died of cancer and the type of cancer she had was so virulent that her cells have continued to grow and are being used decades after her death in experiments to create new drugs.

One of my favorite movies is “Meet Joe Black” in the movie an old woman dying says something to the effect of “life is about getting enough pretty pictures”. I honestly believe that. We’re all going to die someday, life isn’t about where it ends up it’s about what we do with it and the effect it has on the world after we’re gone.  Henrietta’s friends and family described her as a generous loving person willing to work hard to protect and feed those she loved, which included a great many distant relatives. She was African American in the days of segregation and she was uneducated. The effect she had on the masses during her life wasn’t of a huge consequence. I can imagine her wanting to be more and she got her wish. Many many many drugs have been made and are being made today with the study of her cells. She meant a great deal in the scheme of things. I think she would be proud of her sacrifice, she’s affected more lives than most of us ever will.

Her children on the other hand had a hard time after her death. Many of them were young when she died and without their mother they didn’t have much protection from people who victimized them, often people in their own family. But our unwillingness to let that stand for future generations is what makes God proud of our development as his children. Like Hercules, being given the twelve trials, we’ll only become what we are meant to with challenge. And as in the book, The Immortal life of Henrietta Lacks, God will give us the strength to deal with the bad times.

Sometimes it’s not always obvious when death has a positive effect on the living. The hurting is too great to see anything good. As a Christian I can see death as an end to toil for the person God is taking home. That person is now in a happier place in perfect relationship with God. But life on earth still goes on and death affects it no matter what we do. I know it’s fiction, but I don’t think it’s hard to imagine something like what happened in the movie, “The Descendents” happening to a family, where death makes a bond stronger between the people left behind. Relationships are important. They are important to God and he will do what he can to make sure we nurture ours. So when someone’s end comes, think not of the dead but “what can I do for the living?”

Developing Defense Mechanisms = The Fall

While I was feeding a little baby girl, her puréed green beans, she giggled at me green goo dripping down her chin. The green beans didn’t smell so great. Anything green is a little…yuck to me but her smile brought me such joy. I wondered why adults don’t experience joy like this, about something so trivial, and I happened to think about how children have yet to develop defense mechanisms.

Defense mechanisms are social boundaries, sometimes brick walls, designed to protect the individual who has them, from the evils of the world. But one of the main consequences of defense mechanisms is that sometimes they can alienate other people making relationships harder. This made me recall a class on Genesis held at my Church, San Marino Community Church. The speaker, Richard Lamb, suggested that Adam and Eve were children of about twelve years old when they ate from the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil and experienced what’s called, the fall. One of the consequences, not to be mistaken as a punishment from God, was difficulty in relationships (Genesis 3:16. “…he [her husband] will rule over you”, the first mention of bullying in the Bible. God does not condone it merely states it will happen). It made me think maybe building of defense mechanisms, when we start to be ashamed and put space between ourselves and others is that fall. After Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree they felt shame for the first time as evidence by their realizing they were naked and covering themselves. You remember all the artwork where Adam Eve hide from God with leaves over their bodies. Could it be a metaphor for hiding ourselves behind those brick walls?

Later, the same day I feed the baby green beans, I was at a child’s baseball game where two little girls of about three years old told each other their names and a few minutes later one girl was sharing everything from her backpack with the other. Adults certainly aren’t like that. When we grow up we lose our innocence, fall from naiveté to understand there are evil people and snakes. Defense mechanisms become necessary. But there’s no need to just give in to evil. God made evil because he had a plan for it (Genesis 3:15; "he [Jesus] will crush your [Satan's] head"). He saw a greater power, Grace. Where defense mechanisms prevent us from being hurt, Grace allows us to heal when we let our guard down and are hurt.

Maybe to truly be a Child of God we have to let down our defense mechanisms to facilitate better relationships so we can experience what God’s desires for us really are.

Society’s normal compared to the Christian normal

"I just want to be normal!" parents of teenagers hear it right before the bedroom door slams. The parents don't even have a chance to yell, "go to your room!"

I looked up the definition of normal, what I found on "yahoo answers" from a "normal" person, rather than a dictionary, came from Johnny, "Normal is a subjective standard people set for themselves." He went on to talk about how jokes in one click might mean nothing to another click. That means in order to be "normal" in a group you've got to find a group of people who understand you.

I think culture often defines the group normal. "Going on holiday", is the British "normal" way to say what people from the US call "going on vacation". But culture isn't only defined by countries. There are many different cultures inside countries and subcultures within them. Clicks can be considered a subculture of a high school. The culture I consider myself a part of is the Christian culture.

A few weeks ago I was at a talk where the speaker said, "once you choose to become a Christian what was once normal doesn’t seem so normal anymore." It’s true. I've often looked at the world through my Christian lens and wondered, why are people behaving like that, don't they know better? Sadly a lot of people don't and all who do "know" won't always behave according to their knowledge, myself included.

Below are two lists I compiled. (I could do them side by side in the antiquated Word 2007 but not here.) The lists are first of the things society generally finds normal. The second is a list of what is normal for a Christian. Remember, normal does not mean this is what the majority of people, Christians or not, do/believe. It's the values that the culture seems to validate through media, for society's list and the Bible, for Christian list.

Society’s Normal

1. I’m only lovable if I get good grades, do well in my extra circulars, get into a good college, and fit in with my click
2. People only love me if I’m pretty
3. My possessions define my status
4. Everyone does it
5. Christians are weird perfect people
6. If she flicked you off then you have every right to call her a bitch
7. Get drunk and or high every once and awhile, it’s fun
8. Cracking a joke at someone’s expense is a good way to make people laugh
9. Watching people get into desperate situations is entertaining
10. If you like him and he likes you have sex

Christian Normal

1. God loves me no matter what!
2. People will love me if I'm a kind loving person.
3. My character, how I treat people, including myself defines who I am
4. Who cares if everyone does it. Do I want to face the consequences?
5. Christians believe/do things on "society’s normal list" and are just as messed up as anyone else only they’re doing something about it.
6. If she flicked you off she has issues. Say a prayer for her.
7. Drink if you want to but avoid getting drunk or high so you can retain your God given abilities to make rational decisions.
8. Cracking a joke at someone’s expense is mean and hurtful
9. Watching people get into desperate situations is heart wrenching
10. If you like him and he likes you wait till marriage to have sex so you can build a strong foundations for your relationship

I'm sure Christian or not people can identify with a few on each side of the list. Don't worry, that's normal. There's no such thing as a perfect Christian and if you're not a Christian that doesn't mean you can't have some Christian values.

Note; If you want to look at a biblical list of the Christian "Normal" you can look at Ephesians 4:17-5:20.

My Favorite Sin

My favorite sin is worshiping a television show instead of God. It’s a painful sin I realized after this week’s Ringer episode.

If you’re not familiar with Ringer (Tues 9/8c on the CW) it’s about Bridget, a drug addict being hunted, who takes the place of her identical twin, Shivon, a New York socialite, only to find out her sister’s life is more messed up than hers. It has a variety of plot threads*; a family drama portion, murder mystery, and psychological intrigue. All have to do with some mystery. Slowly each week Bridget pulls away at the clues to each of the mysteries.

Over the last few episodes a lot has happened the most important part for me is that Andrew, Shivon’s estranged husband, has reconnected with his wife these last few months, oblivious to the fact Bridget is not his wife. My favorite thing about the show was imagining how wonderful it would for Bridget to tell Andrew that their relationship has blossomed again because she’s Bridget not Shivon. And he’s such a sweet man I imagined his love for her would be so steadfast that they’d join forces to solve the many mysteries around them.

This last Tuesday, Feb 28th, the audience was given a huge piece of the puzzle, which makes all the mysteries no longer mysteries. And it does more; Andrew, the sweet loving husband and father is a crook and a liar so Bridget has every reason to ditch him rather than running off into the sunset with him. I thought Shivon was a bad guy but she’s really a good guy with very gray morals—so not really good either. I thought Bridget was in control but she’s actually a very little pawn.

The episode is appropriately titled, “Ps. You’re an idiot.” I feel like such an idiot. This next episode better give me warm fussy feelings because frankly writers I’m feeling like you might be the idiots.

Then again, it’s my fault for worshiping a television show. Like it says in the book, “Simply Christian; Why Christianity Makes Sense” by N. T. Right, we mirror what we worship—so worshiping God the most perfect example of love should be where are eyes are, not a television show designed to entertain the masses, whom I have a hard time understanding. (We’ll get to that in the “Normal” entry next week.)

*plot threats are different stories lines that all connect in some fashion, either to each other, a character, or a group of characters.

"Could God make a rock so big he couldn't move it?"

I've spent hours upon hours pondering the riddle, "Could God make a rock so big he couldn't move it?" The answer I just had to come up with turned out to be, "Yes he can. All he'd have to do is give the rock free will and he couldn't move it without its permission.”

Free will is also one of the reasons I’ve come up with to answer the more serious question of “Why God lets bad things happen to good people?” This of course doesn’t account for natural disasters (unless there’s some link between our treatment of the environment and the weather. But when I hear that, I think we’re giving ourselves way too much credit to our ability—“We have the power to control the weather.” I picture it said with crazy eyes)

My reasoning to account for why God allows natural disasters to happen is that like all systems there are laws that govern the weather, keeping it working smoothly. The weather is governed by laws God created in order to keep the world inhabitable. Without these laws the world as we know it would fall into chaos so in effect a devastating tornado is actually protecting nature not destroying it. Yes it is devastating, there is pain and suffering because of natural disasters but God doesn’t leave us during those times, he’s closer. He’s protecting us from the greater disaster not having the natural disaster would create and lifting us up carrying us through our pain and suffering. And he doesn’t just do this himself but through each other as well. I’m sure all of you—at least the women reading (they’re willing to admit it)-have been brought to tears by a story of kindness, which took place after a disaster. That is God at work. God can move us even if we don’t know He’s doing it, as long as we give general permission.

My top 5 good examples of loving couples from Television Shows

When I first tried to come up with a list I wanted 10 but that was too hard. There’s this idea going around that TV just can’t be exciting without constant singleness or marital strife. It’s not true. I wanted to prove it by showing that there are examples of marital bliss on TV. (I avoided sitcoms because, even though they are funny, life is not a constant laugh track. If I had included a sitcom it would be “18 to Life”. I discovered it on Netflix and all three of the married couples are good examples if not great examples of good couples.)

Allison and Joe Dubois; (Medium) Unlike the other couples here they have children, three girls to be exact and with Allison taking on a job Joe steps up and is as much of a parent as his wife. They fight like any other couple does but they find a way to make up often both admitting they were wrong in part if not completely. They are partners in parenting bringing up and discussing issues as they come up. He’s always encouraging her to follow her instincts and she supports him with his work, even though it gets hectic.

Melinda and Jim; (Ghost Whisperer) They are passionate about each other, and each other’s lives. Melinda encourages her compassionate husband to be the best caring paramedic (and later doctor) he can be, like she knows he wants to be. Jim helps her with her Ghost “problems” even though it’s exhausting and often inconvenient. When the other desires something they think about what they can do to make it happen, even though it might require a sacrifice. Like when Jim decided he wanted to become a doctor, Melinda wondered if she would leave her business while he went to school in another state.

El and Peter Burk; (White Collar) She helps him with work and he’s always there for her when she needs him. They can sit together at the table and eat, talking, and you know they really love each other. To know that doesn’t require them ogling at each other or going at it in the living room. They are exactly how a loving couple is supposed to be.

Chuck and Sara; (Chuck) They’re newlyweds so this may be premature. He’s not afraid to let her save his butt, when he’s in danger or show his true feels (often sobbing or being overly romantic) because he’s genuine. She deals with his best friends Siamese twin tendencies and with Chuck being overly emotional. She tells it like it is. And he’s patient with her inadequacies, naiveté when it comes to commitment, giving her chance after chance. His close relationship with his sister gives Sara an extended family she can count on, something she’s always wanted but never had. (of course this was all ruined with the season finale)

Jack Carter and Allison Blake (Eureka); I’m a little upset they aren’t married yet. I mean, “what are they waiting for?” I have faith it will happen in their next and final season. Allison and Jack have been making gogo eyes at each other for years. Things have always gotten in the way till just recently. She’s a lot smarter than him but that doesn’t intimidate him. She has to deal with losing both her other husbands in accidents and yet trust he’ll come back from risking his life in almost every episode. They work together to prevent the world from ending every day, use almost secret code communication, and support each other.

One of the things I noticed, and just have to point out about all these relationships, is that they aren’t built on the physical. The women don’t have to doll up for their men and the men don’t have to be buff. They love each other for who they are and can both trust that. Yes these couples have sex but it’s often a footnote. One of the most important things they do is talk to each other, work it out if there’s conflict (either with each other or outside parties), and they are there for each other. I strongly believe these are the things everyone should be looking for in a relationship.

We need more shows where these things are valued in a relationship!

Is Youth Group "Fun" Counterproductive?

Today I read an article from The Red Bull Gospel | LeadershipJournal.net at www.christianitytoday.com titled "It takes more than Pizza and video games to give young people a faith that endures". It was about how youth groups that have only "fun" time are successful at entertaining teenagers but don't give those same people the tools they need to endure in their faith so after the teen years the teens are leaving the church in mass exodus. I identified with the article in an interesting way.

A lot of the people the article talked about were people who had left the faith but had a blast at youth group. This is not me. In fact it's the exact opposite of me. I was the girl interested in the bible, confused by it, so I went to youth group to learn about it. But when I found out 75% of the time we played dodge ball and the other 25% was somewhat scripture based somewhat a broken record of "please pay attention" I was so discouraged youth group became a secondary priority to watching TV. And I felt guilty about that because I thought it made my faith not a priority, which isn't really how I felt. I did go to church Sundays, even during college, but most of the time that was because my parents gave me a ride and I felt like I was letting down God if I didn't go.

Thankfully I don’t feel that way anymore. I now know not going to a group where one isn't getting the spiritual food they need does not mean I am letting down God or that faith isn't a priority. And through my perseverance in going to Church, despite my frustrations, I've learned that like most things in life at church you get what you give. There were times I was so frustrated with church I didn't want to open myself up to the possibility it could do anything for me, but that's changed. During my frustration I had the chance to concentrate on my personal relationship with God and he's patiently, he needed a lot of it, guided me and taught me how I can be a part of Christ's body in the church.

Prayer is huge. I find myself enjoying Los Angeles traffic because it's a great time to pray and when you pray during traffic the more you get stuck in it the better the day seems to go. I know it's counter intuitive but true. And prayer doesn't have to be elaborate, like I say in my novel, if you really hope for something you say a prayer. And contrary to what some believe, what I used to believe, prayers don't have to be selfless. Listing off a wish for every item in Tiffany's is not a good prayer but asking for a successful career, keeping in mind success is sometimes relative, isn't bad at all. And I tend to boil things down to my needs instead of desires. I want my career to take off now, probably will come with the response "not yet, patience young grasshopper" (God does have a sense of humor). So instead I say, "give me patience and the strength to endure" which often means God presents opportunities I don't really want to take in order to acquire those skills so I have to have a little faith.

Also, prayers don't have to be elaborate. Sometimes I just talk to myself during traffic (yes I am the weird girl talking to herself in her car). I tell God about my dreams and my stories, which I hope, with his help will make sense and mean something.

Other than prayer, volunteering is a big thing. Vacation Bible School, church office work, teaching children are all ways I've gotten involved. It's lead to good things, relationships with people who are good friends, a good relationship with the church staff, work for me as a babysitter where I've learned patience and gotten a great deal of validation for my efforts, which is really great nourishment for my spirit. And just recently I was installed as a deacon, where I get to learn a lot about how the church works and help make it work better where things aren't working.

Sunday worship is also important, giving us the tools for life and for the week. The first few Sunday's getting that can opener, pick ax, umbrella you have no idea what to do with is frustrating. But when you have to open a can of worms, climb a mountain, weather a storm they come in handy. And after awhile I find I'm like a fish. I had fish as a kid, many people have. Do you remember putting in those flakes of food and the fish just gobbled them up? I am those fish, sermons, classes, literature, are those flakes. I gobble them up but eating too much makes me sick (I get confused) so unlike a fish, at least my fat fish, I pace myself.

Finally, I wanted to mention David Bisbee my youth group leader, he was great, it's a hard crowd to work with while they are going through a hard time of life. I do remember one scriptural lesson he gave about belief being enough, which compared biblical characters to a specific instance of war heroism and a football player that was both entertaining and educational, and I don't like football (it just doesn't make sense to me).

The point of this post is there are teens who want to learn about the bible and there is a way to entertain and give spiritual food/tools. I know there is and I'm working on a Christian sitcom to prove it. And I want to thank the article for giving me an idea, which will help me with the sitcom.

7 reasons Why Writers Should Babysit as Their “Day Job”

This has been my experience; I’ve been a writer since I could. After college I didn’t know what to do to support myself. All I wanted to do was write, but I couldn’t make a living doing that, not until I finished something and made it good, which takes time. I moved in with my parents to help. By chance I got a lot of babysitting jobs (sits), a few hours here and there. It’s a rewarding experience in and of itself and it’s also made me a more efficient and better writer. Now onto the seven reasons I’ve found babysitting to be a good paying job for a writer (in no particular order);

1.Babysitting teaches patients; Since writing takes time, one of the things I knew I needed to learn was patience. Looking after children, trying to get them to eat, go to bed, forces one to be patient. And I’ve found myself more patient with myself when I write.

2.Exercise the Body ; Writing requires a lot of sitting time, looking at a monitor. Legs get antsy. The eyes get tired. Running after children, hustling to fix lunch, lifting babies is a good way for me to stay active during my “day job”. Then when I get home I’m not restless, I can sit in a chair for hours. I’m physically exhausted but mentally I want to jump the walls.

3.Getting Focused; During some of my sits, night sits, the kids are asleep a lot of the time. After the dishes are taken care of, I open my laptop and write. Sometimes a baby will wake up, I quickly push save and get him or her back to sleep, patiently. But without the toys at my house, my DVDs, VHS tapes, and my bed (sleeping is fun), it’s easier to focus on my writing.

4.Toughens the skin; Children can be sweet, as long as you’re not forcing them to do anything they don’t want to. As a good babysitter I’ve found structure to be important, maintaining the same structure the parents impose. Sometimes a child will say “You’re not my friend anymore.” Or “I don’t like you”. That’s part of the job, just like getting criticism and rejection is for writing. As a babysitter I’ve learned not to take the “rejection” personally, which was hard at first but it’s helped me grow a thick skin.

5.Get over yourself; Forging professional yet friendly relationships is important for a writing career. Editors, agents, they’ll all have an opinion in what you should do. The same goes with parents in babysitting and with parents you have to listen to them. It’s their kid, so babysitting is good practice in doing what you’re told and a good antidote for the “I know better” mentality.

6.Be Silly; One can be silly at a sit, releasing the tension of being serious in front of a computer all day.

7. Write what you know; They say write what you know. Learning about people through every stage of development has helped me create deeper and more interesting characters. Do you know how having a sibling affects a person as an adult? What does a parent’s occupation have to do with how a child develops? I’ve seen people at their most mundane, but I’ve seen there’s a purpose in the mundane. It affects how people deal with things during tense and dramatic moments. The range of character possibilities increases exponentially the more people I meet. Some habits and personality traits that I never thought of have come to my attention and I put them together to create unique characters (not at all like the people I meet).

Now babysitting doesn’t afford me much. I could probably live with a roommate on noodles (to afford writing books, movies, novels) if I had to but I like living with my folks. One more thought; babysitting is hard work and takes a lot of compassion and sacrifice, but it’s worth it in the end. The children are loving and the parents grateful.

BACK IN BUSINESS WITH A NEW VISION

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been busy writing a novel, four screenplays, and the concept for a TV sitcom, writing out outlines for new ideas (including two sequels to my novel, another TV show in addition to the one that started out as a movie when I was 13, a few more movie ideas, and other novel ideas) while working. Wow am I tired, but I'm running full steam ahead (with the hope that I will start getting an uninterrupted 6 hours of sleep a night for the next couple days).

One of the things I like about writing is it helps people (who write) get in touch with themselves. I've learned a few things in these last few months the most poignant thing is that despite my initial desire to write romance (it was God's joke: the abstinent girl writing romance) I tend to lean now towards religious pieces. I am very religious so that really shouldn't have surprised me the way it did. This comes after my failed attempt to write science fiction, my first love (besides God). I'm still working on my initial science fiction piece. It's changed a lot--from movie, to book, to TV show about a future world, instead of planets, which works similarly to ours but with some very unique differences whether they are better or worse will be up to the audience. It has turned into a romance, a comedy, and a war drama. Who knew being initially inspired by Star Wars would create a War drama. Thank you Sandy DeGris for being such a great history teacher, inspiring me to create what would make for a great war drama. For my movies I tend to write romantic comedies and things that are somewhat dramatic (not as dramatic as many TV shows are today because that's just ridiculous. After season one my suspension of disbelief has been shattered and it's not like anyone is going to live happily ever after, ever.). And of course in my stories there always has to be romance. What would life be without romance? Well for one it would end after a generation. Where do you think babies come from? Oh right, that. I wouldn't know anything about that. It's not like we can learn about it from TV and movies, which brings me to another point about writing.

Stories for a very very very long time have been channels for teaching lessons. I love that. This is a reason I like to write about Christianity, use good yet human characters as examples (so people know what it looks like), and to make things accurate. Yes, I did also get in trouble freshman year of high school for quoting some academic fact that I learned from Gilmore Girls, which was an incorrect fact, but doesn't that mean other people buy into those things too? Doesn't that mean as the story teller we are in some large way responsible for the ignorance of humanity. Okay, yes I'm being overdramatic. But we can use this power entertainment gives us to brainwash, I mean teach people important lessons, universal lessons.

Teaching lessons brings me back to the title of this post. The Bible has more universal lessons in it than any other book I have read. I've decided I'm a writer for God so I have renamed my blog to wells-writer4God. And I'm going to link it to my Facebook page (once I figure out how to do that) so I can have more than three followers--that would be smart.

The Cape Canceled

It's sad to hear NBC's The Cape was canceled. It stood out from the rest of TV with it's well written, genuinely goodhearted characters. Seeing a character with good intentions on TV is something viewers desperately need for, even though it shouldn't be done, TV characters are often the examples people look to. It's a tragedy that shows with characters like this are cut so often. I hope that the producers and writers are looking for new avenues to either resurrect The Cape or write a show with characters like these.

I've watched every episode of the Cape and really enjoyed that each one worked with those before taking all the potential plot lines into action. Often this is the fault with shows that have good ideas but are canceled for poor execution. For the Cape execution was not its problem. The show would have become a great success in the long stretch.

This hero lived in the real world, he was wounded, the press didn't know about him so he wasn't flocked with paparazzi or fans. Despite the superhero setting, using the unrealistic, I believed, nicely done writers.

The familial plot (the flashbacks) made the audience feel warm and fuzzy and desire Faraday get back to his family. How much Faraday loved his family was important to his character, gave him strength, lead him to what he had to do.

Orwell's motivations were also intriguing. Her good heart, willing to go against her family and isolate herself from people to do the right thing made her nothing short of a saint. Yet she was also very human in being crabby for she was lonely.

Good luck to all who were apart of the show!