I am feeling very frustrated with my writing as of late. I've always had doubts about my writing but I've usually managed to work through them. Lately it's been a great mountain I can't seem to even step up to.
One knows that "anxiety should not paralyze it should force preparation and cautiousness." As it says in John 20: 19-30, "blessed are those who believe and have not seen." Miguel de Unamuno a famous biblical scholar said, "Faith without doubt is dead." (He also said, "A lot of good arguments are spoiled by someone who knows what he is talking about"--so don't take me too seriously) We all have to have faith whether it be in a religion or faith in our own abilities and potential.
My frustration comes from first, being so obsessed with another project that I've taken, what I hope will be a short hiatus from my novel, which I've been working on for years, and second not having access to someone who can get my work out there. Now I am writing a blog so my posts are out there but one of the things I'm pursuing right now is trying to write for TV, not just any TV but the stuff I like, which is hard to categorize. Like it says in the book, "From Good to Great" it's really about the group you work with that determines how rewarding and good the work is. At this point I'm writing a spec on a show I love, which I'd love to be produced but the business doesn't work that way.
In my frustrations I've come to a few realizations;
FIRST don't do things like laundry and sewing buttons onto the pants you never wear anyway, or post on your blog when you should be writing the episode.
SECOND, like my dad said, but I couldn't listen because I was so frustrated, "expect to get nothing out of something but hope for the best." And in the end I'm sure I will get something out of this project. Practice. And even if it's out of date I can always show it to people when I try to find an agent. I have a few other spec ideas, some pilots, in which I'll need to get an agent to get it to people. Now I need to make connections. Anyone volunteering?
THIRD, just do your best. That's the most you can do and more often than not it's enough to get you where you should be, which is not always where you want to be but the universe has a way of creating possibilities from almost successes and failures. AND THERE'S OFTEN NO REASON TO BELIEVE YOUR BEST WON'T LEAD TO SUCCESS, EVEN WHEN THE JUDGER INSIDE OF YOU THINKS OTHERWISE.
FOURTH, Don't get married to an idea! I was so focused on getting what I wanted thought I knew I wouldn't get it I felt tortured. Don't do that. I got out of it by having faith that things would work out.
I've never really had the problem of writers block so I can't really help you there. Try Googling it. I have the opposite problem. But a situation similar is my problem with my novel lately; my inability to convincingly write in the male pov. I've written a lot of pages. I'm not blocked I'm writing and each draft gets better, with the exception of a few that get worse, but it's beyond my comprehension what men think about. I did buy a book called the male brain and found it slanted towards men that have no personality but are controlled by their hormones, where my character has more depth than that.
FIFTH, stop judging so much. You're writing's probably better than you think.
When I wrote this a week ago I was in a really bad place. Since then things haven't really gotten better or worse but both in a way. My novel is in a comma right now (I have hope it will wake up. I saw brain activity today) but I completed my episode a total of 56 polished pages (4 drafts of it) in 10 days. I have reason to feel proud since it normally takes two weeks and I did it while working and researching the show. I also started a second episode and expect to be done in a week and I feel inspired to write more spec episodes Fairly Legal, Psych, Royal Pains, Scandal, and the pilot I'm really passionate about but really need to get more input on.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts. I hope I get out of my slump. If you're reading this for help, I hope you can get out of your slump too. Send me a comment I'd be happy to talk. Really, is there anyone out there?
Above was written months ago. Since then I completed the second episode of the spec I was working on, and it was within the seven days I aimed to (writing three drafts), while I was working. I'm proud. Unfortunately I did learn the show was canceled so I can't watch it anymore. I did get out of my slump, finished my novel (which still needs some editing input), and I've started my second novel.
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