TV; Why do we watch the TV shows we do?

                Why do we watch the shows we do? Is it the characters? We just have to see how they’ll get out of this. Does the plot excite us? What will happen next? Or does the drama pull you in? I can’t believe that happened, wow this is amazing!

My latest television show obsession is “Robin Hood”, a British show I found on Netflix about you guessed it Robin Hood. The show isn’t really anything special, the historical accuracy is nil, the world is obviously fake. Yet I’m addicted. Why?

Maybe it’s the unique group of characters. Robin Hood, has lost his bloodlust after fighting for the King in the crusades. He comes home to find the Sheriff he loved has been replaced by an evil one, who overtaxes, letting people starve, and worse. But we meet Robin before he knows this. He’s traveling back from the Holly Land with his servant Much, a fighter who talks too much. (Think donkey in Shrek). Robin knows not to kiss a young lady while her father stands outside the house but she tempts him and sure enough Robin has to make a clever escape as the father chases him out. Robin uses a Saracen bow and has come to appreciate Muslims, even has one, a young woman as a member of his “outlaws”. Djaq, the Saracen woman, took on her twin brother’s name. Her father a doctor, she knows about eastern medicine and has a strong wit and fight to match. Will, the carpenter takes orders well, while he also improvises with his knowledge of craftsmanship getting them out of messes or through an obstacle. Little Jon, the giant, has a heart as big as himself. He fights for home because it’s the home he loves. Much is with them too, cooking most of the time in the forest as if he’s Robin’s wife. Finally Allan, the fool who spins a good lie, he knows the ins and outs of being an outlaw, how to get in and out without getting caught. Yet can he really be trusted?

Like the traditional story Robin and his men steel from the rich and give to the poor. But their mission is also to get word to the King in the Holly land of the Sheriff’s cruelty and later, his treason. They encounter and stop other cruel plots along the way, getting caught sometimes, escaping often and losing some. Lady Marion is also part of the story. Strong willed, she fights against the injustice in her own way (think secret identity). Robin is head over heels for her but he has to stay strong especially since Marion considers her love lost since he left for the holy land, breaking off their engagement, and she’s antagonistic towards him for disregarding the rules. She helps them anyway with insider information from Guy Gibson, the right hand man to the Sheriff who cares for Marion in his ill conceived way caring more for power than what she actually wants.

I think it’s the good against evil battle I love. The idea that good can prevail, the idea of friendship so strong you’d go through hell for each other. To have a fight for good, a purpose in life is invigorating. And we’re let in on all this through Robin’s gang, friends as tight as any. We even love the Sheriff who’s constantly killing people we wonder why there’s anyone left or anyone willing to work for him. The writing is clever always making me laugh out loud in each episode.

(Spoiler; don’t watch the last 12minutest of episode 26, “We are Robin Hood” it ruined the series for me. I’m still scratching my head as to why the writers did THAT. But the first two seasons are GREAT! The third still has great writing but a missing element.)

On Writing; How to take Critique Gracefully

Letting people critique your work is an essential part of writing but hearing criticism can be heart wrenching. Having just recently heard a few extensive critiques on my novel, one by a family member the others by friends, I thought I’d pass on some advice.

BEFORE YOU GIVE THEM YOUR WORK

1.       Do as much as you can to come up with and answer your own questions. I drove myself crazy doing this so there is such a thing as overdoing it.

2.       Writing questions within the piece, while it can be tacky for an official editor, I did this for my own notes and would give these drafts to people and they would answer them.

3.       Make sure the person you are handing your work to knows you expect feedback and what kind. It’s going to be easy for them to just read it and say they liked it or didn’t. I still haven’t figured out how to get people to actually give a critique even after I made it clear, though they may not have any official expertise, they can help me (and my lame spelling and grammar).

4.       I still haven’t mastered the art of giving a timeline for the critique. I had a schedule for one, every two weeks I’d heard about a few chapters. One I got after two weeks that covered the whole book, and one I’m still waiting on after months, which brings me to…

WHILE YOU’RE WAITING KEEP WORKING ON YOUR PIECE. DON’T LET THE FACT A FRIEND IS READING IT SLOW YOU DOWN, this is specifically for among the drafts edits. A final edit you can’t keep working.

 BEFORE YOU MEET FOR THE CRITIQUE

1.       Prepare yourself for some hard to hear stuff. You’ll get hit with a lot of balls in the gut but like dodge ball you have to find a way to avoid getting hurt.

2.       Prepare some open ended questions designed to flush out problems. Examples;

a.       What about the character made you feel he wasn’t developed enough?

b.      Can you point to some examples of when the setting wasn’t clearly stated?

3.       Remind yourself this person is human just like everyone else, they are not all knowing and always right but only you know how you want your story to be.

4.       You should have already written down intentions for your plot, character, etc. You’ll need to keep these in mind and hold firm to them during the meeting.

5.       Remind yourself that your draft isn’t bad it’s good but you want to make it better.

WHEN YOU MEET

1.       Ask for what they liked about the piece first but after a few minutes you have to ask what they thought could have been better. Listen/take notes. Acknowledge what they are saying even if you don’t agree with it. But try and look at your story as if what they are saying is true so you don’t get in an uncompromising rut. DON’T DWELL ON THE REWRITE, it’s going to be different than you think you haven’t had time to think it through or finish the critique.

2.       Don’t get emotional, happy or upset, especially defensive. The person giving the critique is giving advice to their best ability. They are fallible and there’s no reason you have to agree or use it, if you feel it doesn’t suit your story.

3.       Ask open ended questions, especially if you feel the person has come to a fallacious assumption. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked questions and either the one critiquing the piece took it back or I found the comment was different than what I thought. It also helps you better understand the problem, opening up your options, if there is something you have to change.

4.       Pay attention to body language. It’s best to meet in person. This was a lifesaver for me. One of the people who reviewed my piece was tearing it to shreds but was doing it with such passion that I knew he cared about the piece. He was excited. I’d hooked him in my plot even though he felt the writing and characters needed lots of work. I consider that a successful draft.

5.       Keep in mind a lot of the advice you’re getting is personal opinion, choices, and biased. Everyone sees through their own rose colored glasses and advice from one person could be the exact opposite of another. Make sure you stick to your clear intentions.

6.       At the end tell them what helped you and thank them.

AFTER

1.       Celebrate! You’ve gotten through the hardest part of writing. No matter how it went you’re on your way. You know what they say, "a bad dress rehearsal means a good performance."

2.       Save your draft under a new name. I like to attach the date to all my drafts.

3.       Go through each suggestion and consider them carefully, trying them a few times, before you discard them.

4.       Discard whatever you want to.

5.       Remind yourself the person you worked with was doing you a favor, don’t let that get in the way of any relationship. Go ahead and think they’re stupid when it comes to your piece but that doesn’t mean they’re a stupid person. She’s probably a lot of fun once you get a few martinis in her.

I hope this helps people. When you do these things it feels less of a violation than getting fraudulent charges on your bank card, which happened to me today. Ahh!

Tots; How to make taking kids to the Park less of an ordeal

Going to the park with kids is a bit of an ordeal. In my work as a babysitter I’ve made many trips to the park with different kids and I've discovered there are a few things that can make it easier;

AT HOME

Put the sun block on. It can be next to imposable to get kids to stand still when there’s a giant play set calling them.

Make sure the rules are clear and if you’re willing to enforce consequences make those clear as well. It’s not a bad idea to tell them, “If you can’t follow these rules then we don’t have to go to the park, that’s okay.” Odds are they’ll want to go so they’re agree to follow the rules but by giving them the option of not going you won’t become the bad guy. They are in control. There are all kinds of “if thens” in life; “if you don’t do your homework you won’t do well in school.” “If you don’t go to work you won’t get paid.” The sooner they learn this, the better and the easier it will be for them to accept rules without resenting the world or villainizing those who enforce the rules, which is YOU.

WHAT TO BRING IN THE ONE PARK BAG

Wet naps to clean hands, face, and any scrapes

A small first aid kit. Kids get scrapes it’s part of the definition of being a kid. A small first aid kit containing wet naps (pat don’t rub), antibacterial ointment (you can find a really small tube that has numbing agent in it too) and those band-Aids with the child's favorite cartoon character on them works great to stop the flow of tears.

Sun block, if you stay at the park more than two hours you’ll need to reapply. That’s a good time to give them the cookies or fruit snacks you hid in the recesses of the park bag.

Food, especially if it’s around lunch time or snack time. Cut the food into more pieces that you would normally, especially with little kids because once a piece falls on the ground it goes in the trash and there’s nothing more heartbreaking than a child whining that they’re hungry.

Leave stuffed animals and blankies at home. Sand clings to fussy things and it’s impossible to get rid of.

Sweaters; no matter how hot it is you never know when the weather will turn or a child will want it just because.

Change of clothes; this is really only for children who are in the process of potty training, when they’re having so much fun it’s hard to remember that, unlike last year when they were wearing a diaper, they have to stop and walk to the potty.

Bathing suit if it’s going to be wet or hot enough

I don’t recommend bringing sand toys. It’s a lot to worry about and parks have play sets, but it’s up to you. With older kids, bringing toys, with the understanding they are responsible for them, could teach them responsibility. It’s not a horrible idea. Just, for a child to understand consequence, you should be prepared to leave a left toy and endure the tears. If I found the time, I would go back, but not let the child know until after they understand the lesson. You won't be an unfeeling person but you'll never have to tell your child twice again to gather their things.

AT THE PARK

Before exiting the car, be sure to make it clear the child/children should hold your hand or someone's hand in the parking lot.

Tell the child where you'll sit and watch them. They won't care until they do and when that time comes, if they can't find you there will be tears.

If you’re going to be eating at the park keeping children’s hands clean when the table is dirty can be impossible. What I recommend, but this is up to you, when they first sit to eat use a wet nap to wipe their hands and with the same wet nap wipe down the area of the table they will be eating at. It won’t be perfectly clean but don’t worry about their little hands touching the table it will happen but their immune systems can handle it. And if you wipe their hands whenever they touch the table, you’ll be wiping their hands every two seconds to keep them clean. Don’t let them eat foot that touches the table or falls on the ground. Notifying them of this before they start eating will make the struggle less difficult.

When a child plays they’re likely to get bumps and bruises. As long as the playset is age apropriate don’t hold their hand the whole time or they'll never learn. When they fall or get hurt don't freak out, let it be, and they’re more likely to let it go.

When it's about time to leave, give the children a countdown. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes", "ten minutes", "five minutes", "one minute". It allows the child to finish up their game and or gives a child a heads up making it less of a shock when that time comes around, which, in my experience,results in less resistance (most of the time).

This isn't an exhaustive list,won't necessarily make the day at the park free of drama but I think it will help lessen the drama. Let me know if you have any thoughts on this or other ideas.

On Writing: Study of the short story not going well?

                Today, after my 100^th attempt to write a short story resulted in a ten page outline—solid text left to right—I decided to read some short stories from the anthologies I was forced to buy during college. These were anthologies I mostly found incredibly dull and this is coming from a girl who enjoyed multiplying matrices.

                However, there was one anthology I found interesting the “You’ve got to read this” Book featuring contemporary American Writers Introductions before the stories “that Held Them in Awe”. It’s Edited by Ron Hansen and Jim Sheppard published in 2000 by Harper Perennial. It has authors, most people, familiar even just a bit with literature, know, names like Charles Dickens, James Joyce, and Flannery O’Connor.

I started reading the first story in the anthology that I believed I hadn’t read in college (I was wrong about that, apparently it wasn’t memorable the first time either). It’s titled, “Guy de Maupassant” by Isaac Babel. I found it lacked intrigue or purpose. Within the first two pages I wanted to stop, feeling that, since it was only six pages long I must have some idea behind why I should care about the rest of it. I couldn’t care. But I kept on hoping there was a point. There was artful description of situation and character—short but sweat—yet still I wondered why I should care.

I read the introduction afterwards because long ago I realized introductions interfere with ones perception of a piece and don’t make sense or rather make more sense when one has read the piece. Still the story held no importance or amusement for me other than the entertainment of scratching my head as to why it was important. I know I must have missed something. I’m quite certain Francine Prose, who wrote the introduction never anticipated she’d have to convince the reader that Babel through his story allowed the reader to experience, “something beyond the cerebral something visceral, inexpressible, that shivery mix of pure presence of mystery that both art and sex can provide.”

“Don’t get it.” That’s what I wrote at the end of the introduction. Perhaps, just perhaps, my inability to understand has to do with my lack of experience with the later mystery, which made me confused as to whether Babel was referring to actual sex at times or just the metaphorical. It all just made me a bit uncomfortable—being analytical yet not able to analyze, as well as the other.

There’s one thing I’m fairly certain of now; going through the story in my head has made the story’s purpose come into a fuzzy clarity. The story is a farce; a young man is being paid by a busty female to translate stories, in which sex is being romanticized, which leads the young man to lust for sex. The female refuses him. Later the young male researches the author of the stories and learns he died of syphilis. (Why couldn’t the author just write that. Talk about overusing words.)

Think about a story more than a moment to find its meaning. It might not be the meaning the author or person who wrote the introduction intended but what you get out of the story is your prerogative.