Friday, July 06, 2012

Being a Good Christian Friend Doesn’t Come Naturally



I am reading Richard Lambs “The Pursuit of God in the Company of Friends”. I just read Chapter Four “The Healing touch of God” about how God can bring healing and how friends are often involved. There were three types, all in Mark Chapter 1 and 2; Story of the Leper, Jesus bringing him back to his friends, Story of the Paralytic, his friends bringing him to Jesus, and the story of Levi, Jesus bringing him healing by showing love and acceptance to his friends. Each of these stories bring healing, even the man who wasn’t “sick” Levi needed to be healed of his belief he wasn’t accepted.


I enjoyed the chapter. It brought me to the conclusion that I’ve experience each one of these types of healing in the course of my life. We all need a lot of healing. God has healed me so I could stop being the social leper I thought I was and accept I could be a part of society. A friend, someone I didn’t really feel that close to (I thought she was kind of weird so cheery all the time basking in God’s love and I couldn’t feel it) brought me to God through her prayers. And God has partied with me as I write (that’s my party) like Jesus dined with Levi’s friends, accepting me even though my “friends” were my characters. He accepted that about me. Through that acceptance I grew confident enough to form relationships with flesh and blood people. I’m still very new at it but I’m in process.


As I read one thing popped into my head I couldn’t get out. I’m not sure it directly relates but for better and often worse I often think out of the sphere of the text. I wonder not only about the “me” as the “Leper”, “Paralytic”, or the “Levi” but the me as the “Friend”.


There are many occasions when I haven’t always been the best friend. Early in life I was bossy when people came over to my house and stubborn about playing what I wanted to play even if that meant I wouldn’t play with them. I had a couple best friends who I haven’t stayed close to for many reasons, that aren’t just mine. They had their reasons too.


Later in life I kept to myself talking with the girls I hung out with at lunch, pickup, and during school when appropriate. I got together with girls from time to time. Sometimes we had fun sometimes not. For the most part I wouldn’t do much outside of school preferring to be alone either sleeping, reading, watching TV, or writing. When I did do things with friends I’d try to do what they wanted yet that made the friendship more work for me than fun. It didn’t seem worth killing my own desires every time I went out with or had a friend over. I didn’t know how to compromise. It seemed impossible.


Now I’m working on compromising, the first step is to know and vocalize my own desires. Then once doing that and only that didn’t help me develop friendships I learned to prompt other people so they would communicate their desires. I ask them how they are, "how’s work going", "how's your family" and if I have any information to follow up on I’ll do that. The next step is to be able to adapt activities based on these desires so that both parties are content. I’m working on it.
It is a theme in Christianity to be like Jesus. He was a good friend honest, kind, and he looked out for those around him. So, even though it’s not easy, sometimes Christians can be hurtful (to all those who I've hurt I am deeply sorry), we should try and do the same as Jesus did.

No comments: